Being a good father is not the same as being an intentional one...

Intentionality is what separates good from great

The corner of my front lawn is the crosswalk into the back entrance of our local elementary school. Every morning and afternoon, children and parents walk up the sidewalk and walk into the school. Most afternoons, I sit at my table working, and I see kids run out of the school yard heading home for the day.

Most days, I see a specific father walk up to the school from our neighborhood and pick up his young son.

I assume he is a good dad.

He looks like a good dad. Some days, he carries his son on his shoulders as they walk home. He is always there to pick his son up from school. He doesn’t let him walk home alone—as many of the other children choose or have to do.

Many parents choose to pick up their children personally, but this dad is almost always one of the first parents I see show up to go and find their child.

Without knowing more about this man and his son, I assume that he is actually a great dad. What warrants that claim? Well, that dad is intentional with his son. Daily he goes to personally pick him up from school.

Intentionality is what separates good from great.

Photo by Ben White

Anyone can do the right thing, or at least a version of it. The intention person does the right thing in the right way. They take care or interest in what they do.

This father could simply wait at the crosswalk or at the perimeter of the school instead of walking all the way up to the school building to go inside and find his child. He could wait until all the children are released into the neighborhood. Standing with other parents and cars. Waiting…

Rather, he goes early to get his child. This father does not wait, but goes. It is a small difference. Yet, the small difference in intentionality reveals the magnitude of his love for his child.

This father is intentional about how he chooses to father his son. This to me is the mark of a great parent.

There are many marks and many characteristics of a great parent. There are many skills we can acquire and also many gifts we may be blessed with. However, intentionality is the simple way to become a great parent—friend, co-worker, or person in general. Intentionality leads us to holistic compassion and care for ourselves and those around us.

To be intentional is to be loving—the foundation from which all good things come.