Kids are too messy for Church
A pastoral reflection on how we have made our churches too clean to bring our kids with us
One of my biggest frustrations in the western church is our integration of children in our faith communities.
As a new parent, helping children and students experience the goodness of faith in Jesus has become such a passion and burden.
In the modern church’s pursuit of excellence in production we have sought to create clean, perfect, and well-executed experiences for those who walk into our doors.
Something I learned early on in my personal parenting journey is that children are almost everything but clean, perfect and well-executed.
Children are messy, loud, distracting, and inconvenient. Everything we have tried to avoid in our pursuit of “effective church ministry.”
Let me be clear, this is not a disownment or critique of any church or children’s ministry. Far from it. I am so grateful for all the churches and ministers that weekly love and invest into our families.
Rather, this is a pastoral reflection on how I as a pastor, leader, and parent can better help those around me encounter God—especially our children and students.
This week, we had a prayer service. Several times throughout the prayer time, my wife chose to take our crying son into the family room. Yet, every few minutes he reappeared. My one year old crawled all over the room and visited with several people.
Many parents would probably feel very intimated or scared to bring their children into our spaces or churches. Understandably so. Churches look so pristine, prim and proper. My kid is chaotic, uncontrollable, and distracting.
I think there are times where order is really important in the life of the church community. Paul seems to think so in 1 Corinthians. Although, I don’t know if Jesus would apply the same expectation for order when talking about our children.
The first century church probably didn’t have childcare or fun kids ministries (thank God we can have those today! They are surely a blessing.). Jesus and his followers surely had breastfeeding moms and child wrangling dads somewhere in the crows following him… Was there not 5000 men + women and CHILDREN who got lunch that day?
Children and church is a messy combination. I can’t change your church or the way your family does faith.
All I know is, I am so thankful and committed to having a place where my children can encounter God right next to me.
If I could encourage you as a parent to do one thing it would be this: As much as possible for you context, bring your children with you and show them how to encounter God.
Whether that means bringing your children to “big church” [I hate this verbiage] once a month or bringing them to a weekly prayer meeting… show your children what it is like to be a follower of Jesus.
Take a small step by invoking your child in a new aspect of faith this week! I believe it will bring them closer to Jesus!