Parents let’s just face it.
Life is not just black and white.
There are so many complex issues and conversations we will have to have with our children as they grow up.
As much as our Christian faith shows us what is right and wrong (so call it black and white), so often our morality is intertwined with people. The black and white becomes grey when we introduce relationships and people into our morality. Not that our beliefs change, but how we act sometimes does because people are important.
If we operate as though everything is a simple black and white—a simple yes or no or a simple embrace or cast away—then we would only be able to live or exist with people who believe exactly as we do. This would be nearly impossible.
Parents, let’s teach our kids to embrace the grey and uncertain situations we find ourselves in. We cannot run from them. They will find us.
A friend or family member will have a different sexual ideology than us. We must live with them still.
A friend or family member will have a different political ideology than us. We must live with them still.
A friend or family member will have a different ethic or belief system than us. We must live with them still.
While beliefs can be black and white comfortably, application of our beliefs often get messy. We need to train our children how to wisely understand and respond to these messy engagements in life.
3 things…
1. Define and give context to problems.
Don’t ignore conversations or shelter your kids from potential problems. Define things, teach righteousness, and train your children how best to respond and evaluate these difficult realities.
Don’t simply teach your beliefs. Give them context. Explain the background of the issue.
Give them the full picture.
Then share how they can come to the best conclusion possible. Lay it all out so that they will be able to make the best decision.
Imagine trying to make a decision about how to decorate your room, but you can only see half of it. Someone taped a tarp up across the middle of the room and you have no idea what is on the other side. You could never decorate something you have never seen before well.
You need context!
2. Give resources, not just answers.
Don’t give your children all the answers up front. Make them explore and learn for themselves. Guide them through the learning and growing process.
Answers provided are not answers solidified.
If you want your child to make good choices in the grey areas of life, they need to find the black and white genuinely. Providing all your answers and nothing else will only leave room for doubt, or conversely it will lead to one-sided indoctrination. Doubt or indoctrination will at some point set your children up for potential failure when difficult situations arise.
Provide resources and challenge your student to find God’s truth.
Walk with them and oversee the journey.
3. Show them how to embrace the grey.
As your children grow older. Bring them into the real process of embracing the grey.
When someone says something and your child hears it, ask them what they think about it.
When a family member or friend does something problematic or harmful, involve your children in the family’s response—both internally and externally.
Parenting is training. We must involve them in the real problems we as parents face. We must then show them how to hold tightly to our beliefs while simultaneously walking through grey and messy situations.
Parents, embrace the grey. It is not going away. When people are involved, it will always be messy. We might as well help our children learn how to deal with it.
I invite you to share your experiences and insights on navigating the complexities of parenting in a world that often blurs the lines between right and wrong.
Let's come together as a community and learn from each other's journeys. Your voice matters, and your stories can inspire and support others facing similar challenges. Click the 'Reply' button or leave a comment below to share your thoughts and experiences. Let's embrace the grey together!