[This is a follow up to my last refection, “Kids are too messy for church” Read it here].
When I was a kid, I had a great Kid’s Pastor.
His name is James Kennison (his linktree). He actually just started a new podcast called “Not Quite Christlike.” I have listened to all the available episodes to date, and I have found Pastor James to be authentic, relatable, encouraging, and devotional. I highly recommend you check out the podcast here.
I loved our Kids Ministry. By the time I was in 4th grade, I was serving and helping. It was amazing. We learned so much about the Bible and about God. There were so many times I encountered him.
I also had an extra blessing. My dad was a pastor. I was at the church more often than most of my friends and peers. I would arrive early and leave late. More than likely, I was at our church 3-4 times per week.
Another added blessing that I had, was access to the “big church.”
Because my dad was a pastor, I was sometimes able to experience the “real church service.” I saw some Sunday night series where people would pray in the altars for hours. I sat through hour long messages. As a pastor’s kid, I was able to make it to the big leagues at the age of 7.
Sadly, some of my friends did not see “big church”… EVER.
You see, in our modern western church, many churches have programs for kids and youth students. They come to church with their families, get checked in to kids church (or youth run to the youth room) and at the end of service families reunite and head home.
Some students will never know what happens in the “big church” until after high school, because for 18 years they have almost exclusively been in our church’s nursery, kids ministry, and youth program.
Imagine being a student graduating high school and finally going to main service… Unless you are a genuinely spiritual person (praise God for you), most graduating seniors will probably find our adult services slightly boring. I cannot blame them.
We have trained them to encounter God with goldfish, donuts, wild games, crafts, youthful worship, trendy messages, and other age appropriate devices. Many students have never sat in our main service to experience God in the way they probably will for the rest of their life… should they stay in the faith.
Sadly, many of my friends did not ever experience this. By the time they were graduating high school or went to college, they left the church. The only church they knew was kids church and youth group.
I hate the term “big church” because we are foolish to think that our main service is for “big people.”
Failing to show, incorporate, and connect our children to the life of the church and the way we encounter God is proving to be deadly in our young peoples spiritual lives.
“Big church” is the standard. Church and our faith community as adults is the standard and normal experience of church. Should we live blessed and healthy lives, we will be in church for 79 years according to the CDC (read the article here).
We are kids and teenagers for a small 1/4th of that time.
60 years vs. 18 years…
I hate “big church” because so many people will never experience it because they leave before they were big enough to.
That is why at our church, we prioritize showing even our littlest what it looks like to be part of our church and faith community. We bring them in. We show them how to worship and pray every month. We invite and incorporate them into our service.
Thankfully, (big) church has never been foreign to me. Sadly, that is not the case for many people.
Our young people are struggling to relate in church, and I do not think it is because our pastors don’t say relevant jokes or use GenZ slang. I think they are just disconnected from church—that being the worship, prayer, and fellowship of the local faith community.
Maybe it is time to do away with “big church.”
Invite young people to see God move.
Show young people how to pray, worship, connect with others and encounter God.
Invest in to young people by giving them roles and responsibilities in our churches (not just youth group or serving in the media team or greeters).
We are all the church. We should experience it together.